Avoid Moving in with Your Girlfriend

Sometimes when you and your girl have been together for a while, she usually ask for more commitment from you and she might persuade or treat you in a way that make you feel comfortable in her pad and asked you to move in with her. If you think you are not ready, here are some how to avoid it.

  • When your girlfriend start talking about future. You should tell her that you are not ready and still focusing to reach your career and financial goal before going into a much deeper relationship. Tell her that you want to provide your girlfriend with the best atmosphere possible when you have reached that goal.
  • Never leave too much of your personal belongings in her pad such as towel, toothbrush, hair gel, shaver, etc. That might give your girlfriend the feeling that you are ready to move in with her.
  • If she gave you her key to feed her kitten or water the plant, accept it but then return it once she came back to town or leave it in her house “accidentally” next time.
  • Even if you are a neat freak, don’t show your true self: leave dirty clothes, socks in your room and only clean up when necessary. Most girls don’t like dirty clothes on the floor, they will think twice before asked you to move-in after they saw it, although don’t over do it unless you want her to disgust you.
  • Complaint about her pad when you are in her place once in a while.
  • Emphasizes “home” as your house or apartment. Say something like, “Let’s head out to your place for a while, but then I need to go home before 11 PM”. This will show her that you still refer your place as your home.
  • Don’t spend too much time in her pad, your girlfriend should spend more time in your pad + outside instead of her pad.

The Meaning of Love

“What is love?” was the top “What is?” search phrase of 2012, revealed Google. It’s a question that scientists, psychologists, philosophers, and people in love — or looking for love — the world over have debated since the beginning of time. Everybody’s experience of love is different, which makes the question a tricky one to answer. However, considering scientific, anthropological and psychological viewpoints may help to shed some light on what love means.

A Powerful Neurological Response

When you love someone, your brain releases a collection of powerful chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. These chemicals come into play regardless of the type of love, be it the love between parent and child or romantic love. Oxytocin is released during child birth and helps establish the strong, loving bond between mother and child, according to a 2011 study headed by obstetrician Navneet Magon of the Air Force Hospital in Kanpur, India, and published in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism. When a couple falls in love, their levels of oxytocin are higher than normal. New lovers tend to have double the amount of oxytocin typically found in pregnant women, as shown by a 2012 Bar-Ilan University study lead by Ruth Feldman and published in the journal Hormones and Behavior.

Love Is Blind

Certain parts of the brain effectively shut down during the initial stages of romantic, including those that govern negative emotions, planning and critical social assessment, asserts anthropologist Helen Fisher in the article “What Exactly is Love?” for The Independent. For around 18 months to two years, the loved one’s faults are ignored, making a long-term attachment more likely to form. Dr. Fisher believes that this attachment evolved to facilitate people tolerating one another at least long enough to rear a child together, but adds that partners in long-term relationships can feel surges of romantic love throughout the rest of their relationship.

Love Is a Commitment

When it comes to romantic love, scientists differentiate between the early stage of a relationship — lust — and the later stages of attachment and bonding. From an evolutionary viewpoint, love may be viewed as a survival strategy, which the human race has developed to protect long-term relationships, support children and encourage feelings of personal security that stem from love from family and friends, as well as romantic partners.

Love Is Out of Your Control

Romantic love isn’t something that can be planned — an arrangement to be negotiated the way a physically intimate relationship or a marriage may be. You can be open to falling in love and take steps to put yourself in the best position to encourage love to come your way, but you cannot decide how, when and where love expresses itself, says Deborah Taj Anapol, who holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, in the article “Love Without Limits” for Psychology Today.